Comfort

I'm not really one for routine, but I have to admit that there's a certain kind of safety that can only be found in the familiar. Right now, for example, I'm curled up on my couch in a t-shirt that I've had since 8th grade and listening to the thunder roll in, just like I did as a kid on my grandparents' porch. For dinner, I went with wine and my absolute favorite dish that my boyfriend's mother cooks.

My stomach's full, my brain's a little dizzy, and I'm winning every game of Words with Friends that I start.

And I'm home. Not in the way that's a specific building or a place, but this sense that everything's right and I belong and I'm happy in the realest of ways. It's awesome.

Short List

Spotted online today...

DEAR ABBY: When my husband is mad at me, he will recite all the good things he has done for me, but “forgets” all but one or two things I have done for him.

I try to be considerate and caring every single day, and when I can’t recite the list of the good things I do, I end up feeling low and unworthy.

Shouldn’t kindness be given just because you love and care about someone? Am I wrong to feel bad because I can’t summon up at the drop of a hat every little thing I do all the time?

Why should I even have to point out these things in the first place? Your opinion would be greatly appreciated. — It’s a Short List

DEAR SHORT LIST: When a person is being berated and adrenaline is rushing through her system, it’s not surprising that she isn’t capable of a long oration. The instinct is probably to run for cover.

What you have said is right on target. So, please, take a few minutes (or more) while you are calm and make a list of all the good things you do and have done for your spouse. Then make about 100 copies. And when your husband starts that lecture again — and you know he will — hand him one.


Let's be clear: this person made her name "it's a short list" because she doesn't do much. I know exactly what I do to tell my man that I love him, because I focus hard on trying to love him right and to show him the way that I want him to. Remembering is easy not because I'm keeping tabs, but because I think through my emotions and the gestures that give them voice. Loving and caring comes naturally, but expressing them takes a concious effort.

Step up your game.

Seriously?

Did this really need help from a journalist?

Dear Abby: I am a 50-year-old gay man. On New Year's Eve, there was a block party on my street. My neighbors, "Marie" and "Tim," are a good-looking couple in their 30s.

I was watching the fireworks when Marie sat down next to me and said, "Tim and I would like to get to know you better. How about we drop by for drinks some night after we put the kids to bed?" She said it while stroking my upper thigh with her hand.

I find the idea of being intimate with her husband appealing, but I have never "been with" a woman and I don't think I want to be. How do I avoid offending or embarrassing one of my neighbors?

- Caught In the Fireworks, Houston

Dear Caught: Does the neighbor know that you're gay? If the answer is no, just thank her and tell her you're not into threesomes. Because it has taken you so long to give her an answer, she probably won't be surprised. If she does know, tell her with a wink: "Thanks for the offer - I'm not into threesomes. But you can send Tim over anytime."

Recipe secrets and cupcake lies

There's a controversy brewing at the Kansas City Star over the sharing--despite promises to do otherwise, mind you--of family recipes. You can read all about it here.

It's no secret that I like a tasty treat from time to time. Especially if it contains cheese, chocolate, or jalapenos, but you're not going to catch me taking any secrets to my grave. Far be it from me to steal the joy of a delicious meal from anyone.

Red lipstick

Make up is kind of strange; we get up in the morning and paint our faces. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that there are things I can do to make myself look better. Men, who don't have the same socially acceptable norms with eye liner and concealer, are stuck with the face they've got. I can always get better.

but there's one make-up trick that's always eluded me: the red lip. Luckily In Style had put together a fool-proof guide to helping you find the right color for you. And since I have to head to CVS today anyway, I'll be picking up my dream shade.