Short List

Spotted online today...

DEAR ABBY: When my husband is mad at me, he will recite all the good things he has done for me, but “forgets” all but one or two things I have done for him.

I try to be considerate and caring every single day, and when I can’t recite the list of the good things I do, I end up feeling low and unworthy.

Shouldn’t kindness be given just because you love and care about someone? Am I wrong to feel bad because I can’t summon up at the drop of a hat every little thing I do all the time?

Why should I even have to point out these things in the first place? Your opinion would be greatly appreciated. — It’s a Short List

DEAR SHORT LIST: When a person is being berated and adrenaline is rushing through her system, it’s not surprising that she isn’t capable of a long oration. The instinct is probably to run for cover.

What you have said is right on target. So, please, take a few minutes (or more) while you are calm and make a list of all the good things you do and have done for your spouse. Then make about 100 copies. And when your husband starts that lecture again — and you know he will — hand him one.


Let's be clear: this person made her name "it's a short list" because she doesn't do much. I know exactly what I do to tell my man that I love him, because I focus hard on trying to love him right and to show him the way that I want him to. Remembering is easy not because I'm keeping tabs, but because I think through my emotions and the gestures that give them voice. Loving and caring comes naturally, but expressing them takes a concious effort.

Step up your game.