Seriously?

Did this really need help from a journalist?

Dear Abby: I am a 50-year-old gay man. On New Year's Eve, there was a block party on my street. My neighbors, "Marie" and "Tim," are a good-looking couple in their 30s.

I was watching the fireworks when Marie sat down next to me and said, "Tim and I would like to get to know you better. How about we drop by for drinks some night after we put the kids to bed?" She said it while stroking my upper thigh with her hand.

I find the idea of being intimate with her husband appealing, but I have never "been with" a woman and I don't think I want to be. How do I avoid offending or embarrassing one of my neighbors?

- Caught In the Fireworks, Houston

Dear Caught: Does the neighbor know that you're gay? If the answer is no, just thank her and tell her you're not into threesomes. Because it has taken you so long to give her an answer, she probably won't be surprised. If she does know, tell her with a wink: "Thanks for the offer - I'm not into threesomes. But you can send Tim over anytime."